Thus Begins The End

I love being melodramatic.

I spoke with the divorce lawyer.
Paid him his money.
He thinks we could have the divorce FINALIZED by the 19th, 20th...
Which means it theoretically COULD be finalized on the 21st!

Which would be funny in so many sick ways.
See, December 21st is our Anniversary.
I'm kinda hoping it's also the end.
That would just be funny.

SO... I'm in a weird, weird place right now. I'm "FEELING" ok? But I can tell something is wrong. I go see my counselor in 2 hours, so THAT'S gonna be a nice break from the day. Someone who can help me get the correct view on today, my life, and the future of humanity as a species.

Ok, she probably won't help me with the last piece, but...

So I'm focused on the future right now. I'm letting my wife go. She wants to end the husband / wife relationship we have with the hope that we can be friends? So I'm letting her. Hell, I'm the one designated to file the papers!

*shrugs*

I guess it's my last request as her husband. MAN!
See, here I am going back and forth. One minute I am READY to join the future.
The next? I'm mad at her for ending what we had.

I keep hearing "It'll just take time" and it makes me want to lose it.
I KNOW it'll take time. The problem is, that time it's taking? Is right now. And it's part of MY world, life, soul. And I don't even believe in a soul.

Ridiculous...

Ah well. 3:00pm can't get here fast enough.