To Reconcile Or Not To Reconcile

Well, it looks like that question is a moot one.
My wife, does not want to reconcile. It was a moment of weakness.
And she's seeing someone to boot...

???

I feel like I was emotionally mugged?!

If you knew that your husband loved you...
He recognized the things in the marriage he had done that had pushed you away...
He was actively working on fixing them...
He would take you back despite the things you had done to him...
You were the one who demanded the divorce...
Why... for the love of pete... why would you discuss reconciliation when you:
1) Were already seeing someone
2) Knew you couldn't let go of the things that had made you decide to let him go...

???

I feel like I have been emotionally mugged...

But it's all good...
I definitely am safe from it ever again.
You only open your heart to that kind of pain every so often.
Once you've had your heart slashed decently enough... you stop opening it.

SO...
Here I am... no different than a couple days ago, and completely different.

Fucking A, life sucks sometimes...