Trance Music, XMas, December, My Life

So it's December 11th.
Thursday.
7:56am

I'm zoning to some Trance music, loving it. The "La La La Girls" by Paffendorf is playing in my ears right now.

XMas is roughly 14 days from today, and I am dreading the experience... it's too close to this whole divorce thing. I'm planning of losing December 2008 from my life. No holidays, no new years, but January 1st... the rebirth.

I'm exactly where I am supposed to. Not that there is a planner who got things right, not that I hoped to be here, but this is where the events of my life have led me to. I don't plan on ignoring that.

This is as good as it gets for Brian Scott O'keefe. Right now. But it's not a ceiling to my capabilities by any means.

I'm learning that I have to reinvent myself daily. If I want something to stick, it has to remain important to me everyday, otherwise it CAN fade to black. So I'm reevaluating 'again' and keeping my forward momentum. It feels good, I feel good, I'm just a little anxious, impatient. I'm ready to be doing rather than planning. But... this is where I am. So this is what I'm doing.

I'm obviously not enjoying this holiday. But that's my problem. I plan on making next year be amazingly opposite.

I guess we can all wait and see.