I'm Here, You're Queer, Get Used To It

Well, I've moved in.
It was the hardest bullshit I've ever dealt with.

My first day in my new apartment was the hardest I have lived in a long time... and I thought my recent divorce would stand as the hardest for a long time... But it paled in comparison. Each day since, has been almost harder than the one before.

I thought I had been living alone! I mean I was just rooming with my brother and his wife, but I was still alone.

Fuck that...
Coming home to a set of rooms, doors and windows without another soul residing therein?

That is alone...
Apparently, I haven't been alone in a VERY long time.
It's not fun... but I gotta get used to it? Right?

(sigh)

One nice little tidbit of interest, my ex and I have been talking lately, and we have decided to start dating. Yeah, we've only been divorced 2 months, but...

The truth is, there were alot of extrenuating circumstances surrounding those decisions... and dating does NOT mean we are destined to "get back together" but...

I have to admit that it sounds wonderful to me...
When I marry, I don't do it lightly... divorce is the last option, and it's only as good as the paper it's written on...

I'm still gonna start dating others, so there's nothing exclusive with anyone...
But it's nice salve to the pain I feel inside...
I love her, and I always will...
I don't know how to stop loving someone, especially when they never did anything outright mean...

Ah well, I'm on day 6 of what was SUPPOSED to be a 3 day weekend. I might just make it a whole week off. (or at least one more day)

Well, I'm outta here...
Trying to figure out my life, one hour at a time...
peace