Resolution Readjustment

Well,
A good friend of mine informed me that my resolutions might not have been thought all the way through. I have spent the better part of a week thinking about what they said. Well, technically, what the one that was "limiting" me said.

1. Single for a year.
   
   I do not plan on pursuing any relationship that generally ends up in bed. If you are in my life, you are a friend, and that's all I am hoping for this year. I realized I haven't spent a year by myself in too long. So this is it for me. I want friends, lots of them... but nothing serious... not this year.
   

The re-write should go like so...

1. Slow for a year.
   
   I do not plan on rushing through ANY relationship. If that relationship finds me romantically entangled with someone? Then I will be aware of the dangers of rebounds, the tenderness of my heart, and my concern over being alone. Carefully, Slowly, and with a relaxed mood. No rushing into anything, no White Knight episodes where the outcome is enmeshment versus healthy relationships. I want friends, I have to rebuild my support network, but that doesn't mean I have to cut out love. Especially if the universe is trying to throw me a bone. (and no, that was not a sexual reference)
   

New Years

Well, I started 2008 out married to someone I thought would be with me forever.
I ended 2008 single.

You win some, you lose some.

So what now?
Well, tonight... it's 10:00pm (roughly) and I'm heading to bed. This year is done. I am SO glad I can get it behind me. 2009 is when I start on me... 100%, no cutting corners.

Resolutions

1. Single for a year.
   
   I do not plan on pursuing any relationship that generally ends up in bed. If you are in my life, you are a friend, and that's all I am hoping for this year. I realized I haven't spent a year by myself in too long. So this is it for me. I want friends, lots of them... but nothing serious... not this year.
   


2. Eat right. Exercise.
   
   I've already started this, but I'm enforcing it now. No cheats, no cookies, candies, etc. (on a regular basis) I'm not gonna go full-retarded and say I will eat nor drink no sugar... What I'm saying is, I'm avoiding it on anything but a rare basis. Granted, it'll be easier when I live alone. But I don't wanna be one of those computer guys that struggles to stand up. Hell, I'm not even sure I wanna be one of those computer guys anymore. I have alot I want to explore... we shall see...
   


3. Roof.
   
   I am focused on putting myself into a Bat Cave.
   
   I've always wanted my own space to furnish and decorate as I saw fit. This is my chance. I've already been approved for a home loan. I've already found a house that I think I'm gonna start working on (making offers, etc.), the only thing left is to get another couple hundred bucks in my bank account for those things I need like a bed, towels, plates, etc. I'm almost there.
   


4. School.
   
   I have three years to get to a Bachelors. I have roughly 26 hours completed. That's only 3 times that left (give or take a few). I am going to make this my largest and strongest goal. School. I want a degree. I had thought at one point my 15+ years computer experience would be enough? It never has been. So if they freaking need a degree? I'll get a damn degree... sigh. I think it's ridiculous tho.
   


5. Create.
   
   I've had so many things inside me that need out? It's ridiculous. I've got drawing, painting, music, and creating just DYING to get out. This is my year to unlock the doors in front of my imagination.
   


6. Share.
   
   I've got a volunteer packet in the mail already. I'm going to be volunteering at the childrens hospital as soon as I get approved. I love kids. I've worked with kids. I would love to be someone who might be able to help in some way with kids. I don't ever want to have kids tho. I'm happy for my children to be memetic versus genetic offspring.
   


7. Book.
   
   I've got a book concept. I want it to be outlined by years end. I still have alot of research before I start anything beyond mere drafting writing. But I think it's not impossible to expect a decent outline for the book. This book is my lifes work, my goal. I believe it will help many people... now I just have to write it.
   


8. Me.
   
   Seems redundant. To put ME on my list of new years resolutions. But it's important. I've lived for so long without feeling like I deserved to be allowed to think about being me. I apologize for more things than I do wrong... I don't feel like I deserve the basic treatments the average person expects... I'm tired of that. It comes from some seriously messed up deep-seated psychological issues. Most of which became painfully clear in this last marriage. I want to heal me, allow myself to be me, and have it all be worth it.
   Nuff said.
   

This is the last time I will ever use this computer. I'm going to be taking it apart to use some of the pieces in my new computer. I'm cannibalizing this bitch for a better deck. I'm going to start some development and studies on web applications teamed up with iPhone development as well. I've got alot to study, but I think I am ready. I know I feel ready.

2009, here I come... granted, I'll be sleeping through your awakening moments. But I'm sure you'll forgive me... because I said so! I'm making you my bitch 2009, I hope you are ready.

Peace, Love and Chicken Grease my friends.