A week of decisions

Well, here I am. 8 days into the new year. I'm doing alright, feeling good actually, and quite happy. However, now that I am starting to balance out? I'm finding a distinct and powerful desire to be on my own.

You see, I have been living with family ever since the divorce started. I still am.

Don't get me wrong, they are fantastically wonderful. I am not in any way being mistreated or anything like that. I am just... ready to be single and alone.

Weird. It's odd to see me want to be alone. I've been a paired up kinda guy for years. I can't even remember the last time I was single... I'm ready to do this thing, and enjoy doing it. However, I am also house-shopping. So, I don't want to get stuck in a 12 month lease? So I am NOT sure what I want to do.

There are some small apartments close to my job that would be perfect I think. It would allow me to have my own space, get started in the purchase path towards single nirvana. I don't even have a television... lol. Not that I plan on getting one right away... my computer is all I need for now. So, I don't know what is in store for me immediately.

I'm gonna do some apartment shopping today, I have house shopping with my Real Estate agent and my ex-wife offered to come along and help. And other than that, there really isn't anything else I can "get on top of" for my future? Other than starting back into my computer projects? So...

I am meeting with a new friend for a game of chess this Saturday too, still trying to figure out whether I would like to play in the evening or morning? I honestly can't decide yet, but I am sure if I don't pick something I might lose the game time all together...

I have a facebook friend who is going to start meeting me to workout with me. Which consists of walking... that's right... just walking. But that's ok. I'm just being careful with my health. I am strictly walking right now because of my weight and age. I'm not an old man (yet) but I don't want to get to my old age and have banged up joints. So I am walking until I get under 220lbs, then I can start running and lifting weights.

Course I am losing (on average) about 3 pounds per week right now, which is cool because that's the goal I set myself on Live Strong dot com. So it should merely be a matter of months till I make it to my 220lbs mark and can start feeling even better.

Granted, I can't eat like I have this week either. My cousins came in from Ireland and I have been out twice with them and had HUGE mexican meals that have slammed my calories to hell and back. But oddly enough, I lost two pounds this week? So, I'm not all that worried. I eat carefully portioned meals on average, stick with healthy foods, nothing fast, cook with healthy spices and oils, and I'm generally taking care of myself... for what seems to be the first time in my life.

I'm getting there... getting my own space is going to be a HUGE step forward for me and I am starting to get excited about it. We shall see...

I am grateful for those things that have fallen into my world and life...
I am happy and content on some weird levels...
I am struggling with this need for companionship...

My life is here... not soon.

Happy Hormone Day

Have you ever had a day where you didn't understand why you were happy?

I've been having these lately.
I am going to take a leap and blame it on eating right and taking a handful of vitamins my father has put me on.

I mean for instance. Today.
Things to be upset about:

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1. I woke up


2. I have a catch in my back, it hurts when I stand straight.


3. I am still fighting this NASTY NASTY cold


4. My lawyer hasn't called me back to reschedule despite leaving a oouple msgs


5. I am busted ass broke

But I'm not?! I'm happy. I feel good. And it's been a growing thing. I've dealt with some emotional roller coasters in my life. Hell, at one point I thought I was Bi-Polar. It turned out I was over-stressed, eating improperly, and not setting proper emotional boundaries with family and friends.

But lately, I've felt this growing feeling of peace and happiness. It's been like something I can't control, not that I would change it. Don't get me wrong, I've had some serious depressing moments. But they have stayed moments. The feel-good is lasting longer! Bizarre!

I've been tracking my health over at Live Strong dot com and I have noticed that the less sugar I take in, the less bread-type carbs I ingest, the happier I get! Crazy...

Anyway, I'm running on a couple days of feeling good, despite external reasons for feeling like shite, and I must say... I like it.

I have this craving for a soda right now... and being able to equate this feeling with NOT getting that soda? Makes it ALOT easier to life my bottle of water to my mouth and drink happily!!!

Now I gotta figure out how I'm gonna eat the Ice Cream Sandwiches at home without eating the sugar!